Falling into Pits

 

I was so hesitant to write this blog in the first place and even more hesitant to share it with anyone. First for superficial reasons, I didn’t want to be viewed as a wannabe “influencer” or a “blogger mommy” (NOT that I have anything against women who make blogging and social media their career that’s just simply not my goal). My goal was plain and simple: I wanted to record our experiences out here. But I found as I began to do that I also began to have a desire to share it with others; not only so they could follow along with this new chapter of our lives but also in hopes that they might walk away from reading feeling uplifted and even inspired. I think we need more of that in the world. But there was always this nagging feeling of: but what if my stories don’t resonate with people and instead make them feel worse than they did before?

What if someone were to read my experiences and my peaches and pits and say to themselves, “this girl is writing about her shower leaking and I’m dealing with real loss, with gnawing pain, with declining health, with horrible news, with tragic heartbreak.” What if my pits are so menial compared to others? And the straight answers is that they most likely are.

My hope and prayer is that as I share our journey and experiences out here that those that read along will find the principle of gathering peaches, planting pits, and learning lessons to be inspiring no matter what those peaches, pits and lessons look like for each of us.

And I hope that as I share the lessons I have learned, and continue to contemplate deeply, that those who read them will learn something too. And that they might walk away feeling uplifted and inspired. I hope and pray that one day I can return back to these words and feel uplifted and inspired whether I am in times full of peaches or times full of pits.

So I’m going to start this post off with my lessons learned.

• Only Christ understands what we go through. Only Christ can rescue us from our pits
• Comparison is the thief of joy
• In the peachiest parts of our lives we should never forget to reach out to those who are in the pits.
• Falling into the pits and neglecting the peaches is dark and miserable

Only Christ Understands What We Go Through. Only Christ Can Rescue Us From Our Pits

I remember being on my mission in Tennessee and sitting across the room from a member of the church who opened up about the horrific nightmares he has as a result of PTSD from his former military service. If I remember correctly we had been talking about how my mom always says, “If we all were to lay down on a table all of our trials and weaknesses and see what everyone else was going through we’d take every one of our own trials and weaknesses back.” This man sat across from me and posed this question to me: “Sister Hall what could you possibly be going through that I wouldn’t trade you my trial for?” 

 I was at a loss for words. I had no idea what to say to him. Sure I was going through my own struggles of being nineteen years old, living across the country and trying to figure out how to preach a gospel message to people that mostly all loved Jesus but didn't always love me. Sure I was struggling with knowing if I was good enough and if I could really take the brand new missionary sitting beside me and figure out a new place and actually find people to teach. But somehow I didn’t feel like I could say any of that. Everything paled in comparison to his struggles. I had no words to say. I could not understand, I could not comprehend. And I felt absolutely miserable about it. I have felt similarly the past week as I have thought about the trials that some of my dearest friends and family members are currently struggling with. They are trials that I do not understand and cannot comprehend. But I learned a lesson that day in the hills of Tennessee and I’m relearning it out here in the hills of Pennsylvania. And it is: I cannot understand and comprehend everything that others go through but I know someone who can. And that’s Jesus Christ.

Only Christ can truly understand everything we go through because only Christ descended below all. He “walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, [so] we do not have to do so.” (Jeffrey R. Holland None Were With Him). He is the only one that can provide the “peace that passes all understanding” (Philipians 4:7) because He has surpassed all understanding.

I thought of the pits in my metaphor of peaches and pits this week not only as the pit in the center of a peach but also as a pit dug into the earth. And I’ve thought a lot about how there are times in each of our lives where we feel like we are stuck in a pit. And maybe it feels impossible to climb out. These thoughts lead me to my scriptures where I found one of the most beautiful verses about this situation. 

Psalm 40:2 reads, “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.” The “He” in this verse is Christ. The pit can be the trials, sins and weaknesses we might feel like we or those that we love are in. Miry clay means muddy, impossible to take hold of and climb out. A rock is more solid footing than mud. Established my goings to me means Christ guides us. Knowing all of this read the verse again. What I learn is that: Christ rescues us from pits we cannot climb out of. He sets us on solid ground-He is the solid ground-and He guides us.

What a comfort that is to me. Christ is the only one who not only rescues us from our pits but also perfectly understands them because He has been in them, He has been below them.

 

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

You know those quotes or lines or words of wisdom you hear that ring so true to the point that they almost haunt you? This is one for me: comparison is the thief of joy. I feel like I have to learn it over and over again in multiple contexts. I used to think that it was just about comparing others' bests to our bests. I am learning as well that it also doesn’t do much good to compare others' worsts to your worsts. 

I’m learning that if I spend too much time wondering why someone has it harder than me I am actually being selfish because I am making the situation about me rather than expressing my gratitude for my blessings and then immediately figuring out how to help and minister to those who are in a different situation than I am. It is a thief of joy to wonder WHY bad things happen to good people and WHY good things happen to bad people. It is a thief of joy to wonder WHY I am in the midst of peaches while others are in the deepest of pits. It is a source of joy to instead wonder: HOW can I help those who are in the middle of trials? WHAT can I do to lift and brighten someone’s day? Yes, comparison really is the thief of joy and Christlike service really is the source of it.

In the Peachiest Parts of Our Lives We Should Never Forget to Reach Out to Those Who Are in the Pits

This past week I feel like I have heard more news from friends and family talking about things going on in their lives that have completely humbled me in mine. Health issues, stress, finances, jobs, fear of the future, heartache, loss. It has caused me to contemplate the blessings in my life and feel immense gratitude for the peaches. It has also caused me to realize that even though I am in a stage of my life where I feel that the peaches far outweigh the pits that there are those around me and actually very close to me that might be experiencing the opposite. And that creates an opportunity for me to reach out and help and lift those who are in need. I had been thinking and pondering so much about this throughout the week and as we sat down to church on Sunday the words to a familiar hymn struck my heart:

Because I have been given much,
I too must give;
Because of thy great bounty Lord,
Each day I live;
I shall divide my gifts from thee
With every brother that I see
Who has the need of help from me.
 
Because I have been sheltered, fed
By thy good care;
I cannot see another’s lack and I not share;
My glowing fire, my loaf of bread,
my roof's safe shelter overhead
That he too may be comforted.
 
Because I have been blessed by
thy great love dear Lord;
I’ll share thy love again
According to thy word;
I shall give love to those in need,
I’ll show that love by word and deed;
Thus shall my thanks be thanks in deed.

(Because I Have Been Given Much, Hymn 219)

It was such a tender mercy of an answer to prayers. It offered me peace and perspective and a desire to serve and lift those around me who may be in a pit of a trial.

Falling Into the Pits and Neglecting the Peaches is Dark and Miserable

The final lesson I learned is that when we focus only on the pits or in other words fall into the pits it makes things feel very dark, very dismal and very hopeless. No matter how hard or dark things seem I firmly believe there is still good to be found. It might take more effort to look and to find it but I know that it is there. I found a note in my scriptures next to the verse in Psalms that said “Gratitude changes attitude.” If we only focus on the pits and neglect to find the peaches we will be miserable. I experienced that several times this week and I don’t want to have to do it again. I hope and pray I can remember to seek and find the good no matter the situation. And I hope and pray I can help others do the same.

So to round out here are some peaches and pits from the past week:

Peaches

• Went to a farmers market on Saturday and bought some home grown cherry tomatoes and local honey. I love farmers markets
• Listening to the talk Infuriating Unfairness by Elder Dale G. Renlund
  
• Reading about President Nelson’s 97th birthday and hearing the lessons other church leaders have learned from him
• Listening to Jim Brickman on Sunday morning and remembering mom playing it when we were kids
• A sweet reminder text from a friend saying “God has good intentions, I firmly believe that”
• I’m training a new girl at work and it is so awesome to think back on the days when I was first learning the intricacies of Amazon and realizing how far I’ve come and I get to help her do the same
• Conversation with Jada the cute teller girl at PNC bank where we get our weekly allotment of quarters for our laundry (we have laundry in the basement but have to use quarters to use it)
• Went to lunch with a new friend from church
• Finished watching the Harry Potter movies
• Dad shipped our bikes out so now we have another way to get around town
• Receiving a postcard in the mail from mom 
• Received a book that I absolutely love in the mail from a dear friend and former mission companion that I absolutely love
• Texting back and forth and reliving memories from our missions with former companions
• Maintenance came and fixed our light, our leaky shower and our dryer hose
• Tried a new pizza place called Slice of Broadway that was super yummy
•  Making molasses cookies and dancing around to George Strait's Christmas Cookies song (never too early for Christmas music I listen to a song or two year round honestly)
  
• Thinking about my trip to NYC with my aunt Stephanie and the solemnity and spirit that was felt at Ground Zero
  
• Learning about the 9/11 memorial in Shanksville, PA about an hour and twenty minutes from here. We’ve got to plan a trip out to visit
• Getting fun pics and videos of our nieces and nephews 
• Putting air fresheners in the alcoves of our smelly hallway  
  
• Found my favorite mango juice we used to drink all the time in the Mexico MTC
  
• Cleaning the bathroom floor and it seriously looks brand new
• $10 lamps from Target
  
• Mom is coming back out to visit for her birthday in October
• I made salmon for dinner and when I took a sample for to Jaden check and see if it was done he started singing the meow mix jingle and it made me laugh so hard

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

Pits

• Hearing about difficult news going on in the lives of friends and family
• Feeling grief and guilt for blessings
• Falling into pits
  
• When I'm driving along and without warning the lane I’m in turns into a turn only lane (happens ALL the time)
• Jaden being a party pooper when I take pictures and videos of him whistling and doing random things around the house to send home to our family and friends. I don't want to laugh at him by myself, so many people find joy and entertainment from watching him goof off
  
• Reading about the tragedies of 9/11
• One night our apartment started smelling like beef broth and we discovered that smells emanate from downstairs into our apartment through our closets. So I really hope we don't start smelling like cows. The quote from the movie Elf, "You smell like beef and cheese."
  
• BYU won

Funny Lesson Learned: Not Everyone Wearing Orange at Home Depot is an Employee

This was honestly a hilarious lesson learned but didn’t fit the tone of the rest of my entry to go up with the rest of my lessons learned. I went to Home Depot to get “grout refresher” (that was a GAME CHANGER when I was scrubbing the disgusting grout in our bathroom) anyway there was this woman standing in front of the appliance section of the store and she was dressed in an orange plaid shirt and had orange Jordans on and I didn’t even think twice and walked up and was like “I’m looking for the tile and grout aisle do you know where that is?” She was shaking her head the whole time I was asking this so me being an ignorant dummy said, “You don’t know where it is?” And she looks at me still shaking her head and says “No, I don’t work here.” I apologized profusely and said, “Well you look the part decked out in orange, I am SO sorry!!!”

Hope this post gave you something to ponder, something to smile about and most importantly something to hope for. Thank you for your love and support as well as your willingness to follow along with us as we gather peaches, plant pits and learn lessons along the way.