Carve Out Time

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how life is all about what you make time for. It becomes increasingly clear to me the older I get and more I interact with others and live life that time is the most precious thing we are able to give ourselves, others and the Lord. I was looking at our framed photo gallery on our bedroom wall and thinking about how grateful I am that Jaden and I are able to spend time with each other and that we have both made a commitment to carve out time to spend together even when our lives are busy with school and work. As I looked at each picture I thought about the things we love to do together, we enjoy hunting, traveling, experiencing new places, trying new food, cooking together, talking, goofing off, going to and hosting parties, going to the temple, laughing, spending time with our families and friends and of course watching Utah football (most of the time;). Being out here in Pittsburgh has really helped us rely on each other and establish ourselves even more as a couple. I am so grateful that Jaden carves out time to spend with me even if some days it’s just a couple of hours in the evenings to have dinner and watch a show. I’m grateful for the memories and experiences that have come over the months and years since we met as a result of carving out time to spend together. And I hope we can continue to carve out time to be together as our future becomes increasingly busy especially once we start having kids.

 

 

 

 

 

We watched Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s video of his response to the Church initiative #HearHim. Elder Holland talks about Jospeh Smith’s experience praying in the sacred grove and how we can learn a lot from the experience and learn a specific lesson about opposition. He shares that right before Joseph had the most marvelous revelatory experience seeing God the Father and Jesus Christ he was overcome with darkness and opposition. There was darkness before there was light. He talks about how we all face opposition when we are trying to kneel down and pray whether it is distractions, exhaustion, temptations, etc. But Joseph said he “exerted all of his power” to pray. Elder Holland says we can learn “a pretty good lesson about muscular prayer, urgent determined prayer. To fight through -whether it’s the adversary’s opposition, or the cares of the day or the distractions of our mind.” Many times it requires an added amount of effort to make the time and take the time to pray. Similar in small ways to Joseph we can be overcome by darkness when we try to have added light in our lives. He later says “I am reminded to not ‘get on by the cheap’ about prayer. We need to carve out time, and good time, high priority time when we can say the words, kneel where possible, be vocal, be out loud and really have that communication.”

I would add that these same lessons apply not just to prayer but whenever we try to do anything that is good. With anything that helps us progress, there is opposition. Satan’s whole motive is for us to be miserable and he wants to prevent us from doing good and progressing in our lives. It takes muscular work and effort to carve out time to do good whether it’s carving out time to pray, study the scriptures and words of the prophets, work out, spend time with family and friends, take a shower, ponder, make your bed, clean the house, plan meals for the week, run errands, check in with those that you minister to, follow promptings, serve others, do homework, the list goes on and on. There’s a line in Preach my Gospel that says “God rejoices in our progress.” Well, Satan rejoices in our lack of progress.

And that doesn’t mean that if we don’t carve out time to do everything I just listed out and more than that means we are not progressing, that is not what I am trying to say. The point I have pondered a lot about and am trying to make is that we have more control over our time than we realize and we might be wasting it more than we realize. That pesky little feature on our phones that shows our screen time for the week can be a horrifying reminder about how much time we spend staring at that little pocket sized screen. Time maybe we could have carved out and used to do something better. 

As we’ve begun to try to establish a better routine out here we’ve seen definite differences in our lives, our attitudes and our relationship when we carve out time for spiritual things like prayer and reading scriptures together. It takes effort to carve out the time and kneel down together and pray and sit down and read. Many times we aren’t great at it but the efforts we make and times we succeed increase our patience, love and appreciation for one another.

I’ve seen similar patterns personally. When I carve out time to work out I feel better and have more energy and mental clarity. When I carve out time to clean up the house and do my chores I feel more on task and able to focus at work. When I carve out time to reply to texts and call friends and family I feel happier. The list goes on and on. The bottom line is carving out time for good things is harder than wasting time mindlessly on less good things. It’s the good, better, best mentality. There are things we do every day that are good, better, and best. We can’t always have the “best days” but we can try to have good days and try every day to be better. My mom always says “try a little harder to be a little better.” It takes hard work and there will be opposition but the result is a type of fulfillment and joy that simply isn’t found by just sitting around letting things happen around you or on your phone.  

I recently set a goal and have been extended an opportunity that will require me to carve out large portions of my time in order to complete it. For quite a few months now I have been cultivating a desire to return to school. I graduated last December with my undergrad from the University of Utah in Strategic Communication. I don’t regret choosing that degree, I was able to complete it so quickly and it lead me to where I am and my current career. However, as I have continued to learn and grow in my career I am aware of a gap in my knowledge and understanding of business. Though I recognize that you can learn a lot from on the job training and experience I have felt more and more strongly that I could use formal education in order to strengthen my business acumen. I strongly feel that in order to continue to grow in my career and have a more well rounded skill set I need to go back to school. I hadn’t really voiced these desires out loud until last weekend after we had FaceTimed Jaden’s buddy Landon and his girlfriend Mady. Mady is starting her first year of her graduate program in January and was talking about registering for classes. After we ended the call Jaden said, you know I always thought you really would excel at graduate school. I said “Really? It’s funny you say that because I have been thinking a lot lately about going back to school and getting an MBA.”

And things happened really quickly from there. We researched programs together, looked at the logistics and financials of me returning to school, and together made the decision to pursue it. I found a program that appears to fit perfectly into our lives and goals and decided to go for it. It’s the MBA program through Southern Utah University that is 100% online and I can complete it in a year. Because my undergraduate GPA was high I was able to qualify for an exemption from taking the GRE/GMAT tests and was able to complete and submit my application in a matter of days. And two days after I submitted my application I was accepted into the program. So beginning this January I will also be entering a graduate program of my own while continuing to work full time.

 

 

As I thought and prayed about this decision, the phrase attributed to Francis Bacon, “knowledge is power,” kept coming to mind. I also thought about how timely this goal is and that if I am going to go back to school it might as well be during this stage of life when: we don’t have kids, Jaden is in the middle of his own degree and I have the time to do it. I hope that I can remember these lessons I am learning about carving out time as I strive to be successful in this next big goal and reenter the often tricky work/home/school life balance.

And yes I love a good play on words so the other application of carve from the week is that we went with 3/4 of the Carnegie Crew (Zach and Jenna had to help out with the primary Halloween party) to Soergel’s Farm & Pumpkin Patch and picked pumpkins and carved them all together at Tanner & Amanda’s house. It was so fun, Soergel’s is quickly becoming one of my favorite places to go especially in the fall. It’s the cutest little farm with the best apple cider but unfortunately it was so packed when we went they were all out of doughnuts and apple cider slushees as well as croissants, macaroni salad and napkins (Jaden had to wipe his face with the paper bag our sandwiches came in), when we ordered lunch at the deli. It was an adventure for sure. Jaden was a good sport but also chose the first pumpkin he saw which was all beat up and had little bumps on it so I teased him he literally chose the “Charlie Brown Christmas Tree” of pumpkins.  Then he carved it in a record five minutes during halftime of the Utah game later that night. Gotta love him!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jenna’s pumpkin was by far my favorite. When we were all sitting around deciding what to carve she said “What is literally the simplest thing I could possibly carve?” I jokingly was like “What about the tiniest smiley face in the middle of the pumpkin.” She didn’t even hesitate and just said “Done,” and the result was too good!

 

 

Other fun things from the week were having friends over for dinner and to watch the new movie Dune which is supposed to be the next Star Wars/Lord of the Rings. We all liked it, there was definitely a LOT that happened and some of it made my head spin, it was kind of nice that we were able to stream it on HBO Max because there were a few times we paused it to talk about what on earth was going on. We also made homemade apple cider doughnuts after Soergel’s and Trader Joes were both completely sold out. And had Sunday dinner and played games at Zach and Jenna’s and fell in love with Jenna’s delicious pumpkin cookies.

 

 

Peaches

• Completing tasks and projects at work so I can pivot to other projects
• Support of friends, family and bosses regarding my decision to go back to school
• Got accepted to SUU’s program
• The recruiter at SUU that helped me through the process was so nice and helpful
• Farms and markets
• Pumpkin patch
• Watching Jaden, Tanner & Taylor steer the wagons with pumpkins backwards down the hill from the pumpkin patch
• Jenna’s smiley face pumpkin
• Playing games and laughing with friends
• FaceTiming friends and family. Especially seeing the babies that are growing up way too fast! Hayes was pretty attentive during one of our calls, can't get over how big he is getting! Can't wait to go back home for Christmas and snuggle him and Wesley girl!
• Rainy Pittsburgh days
• When Jaden plays with my hair and sings to me before I leave him to do his homework and I go to bed
  
• Pulling out my box of sweaters now that it seems to be cooling down here
• Watching Alex & Amy speak at church via Zoom. Technology is so amazing the way it helps us feel close to family and friends even when we’re far away
• Phone calls and texts from sweet grandparents

 

 

Pits

• Missing family extra when Jaden’s siblings went to the rescheduled Dan + Shay concert we were supposed to all go to last year and then it was postponed a year due to COVID
• Talking to mom on the phone when she got home was so surreal because she was literally here Tuesday morning and then back in Utah by the evening
• Miscommunications amongst loved ones
• Feeling so nervous to actually make the decision to go back to school and share it with others
• Doughnuts were super tricky to cook had a hard time getting the oil temperature right
  
• Putting off doing laundry 
• Hung some sheets and towels over the door to help them dry and they have huge stains on them. Apparently the tops of the doors aren't painted so I'm not sure if it's a stain from the wood or just grime but there is a gross line of brownish rust colored stains on our white towels and sheets.

Lessons Learned

• If you want apple cider doughnuts and slushees from Soergel’s you better get there right when they open
• Time is the most precious thing we have to give
• Life is what you make time for
• Voicing and actioning a goal can change your life so quickly
• There will be opposition in response to carving out time to do good, work hard, and progress through life
• Don't hang things over our doors to dry