Eating Crow

 

This past week I saw more crows than I had ever seen in my life. It was perfectly festive for fall and Halloween but made me wonder why I was seeing so many and what caused them to be in our neighborhood. When I went to get groceries there were seriously hundreds flying overhead moving from one tree to the next, they were so loud! So I Googled crows and learned some interesting things about crows. Here are three fun facts I learned:

1. A group of crows is called a murder
2. Crows are very family oriented. After baby crows grow older they help their parents raise the next set of crows before they go on to mate and have families of their own
3. If a corpse of a crow is found, large amounts of crows will gather around the dead crow to effectively “mourn the loss”

I also learned that when the weather turns cold they tend to roost in really tall trees so they must like the trees in our neighborhood. All this crow research made me think of a phrase I often heard on my mission in Tennessee, I distinctly can hear the drawl accent of a woman saying: “would you like ketchup on your crow?” This phrase “eating crow” was very unfamiliar to me. It basically means admitting you’re wrong, but it’s specifically used when admitting you’re wrong may cause shame and/or humiliation.

The best example I can think of eating crow is when we didn’t think BYU wouldn’t beat Utah in the rivalry game this year and then they did. We had to eat our crow on that one.

There are times in your life when you go through events that change you but sometimes during the process of that change is seems that your weaknesses are served up to you on a silver platter. I experienced that in the extreme on my mission when I was trying everything possible to be a disciple and missionary of Christ and share the message of His restored gospel. That experience refined and changed me and showed me a lot of my weaknesses. It also showed me that those weaknesses can be come my strengths like we read in Ether 12:27. I think marriage is another opportunity to learn and grow and absolutely shows you your weaknesses. But it along with that it helps you change and alter those weaknesses and yourself to be better.

One of my weaknesses I feel like has been served up on a silver platter since Jaden and I have been married is the fact that I hate being wrong. I’m not sure anyone actually enjoys being wrong but I have found I have an extra hard time admitting I’m wrong or have made a mistake, “eating my crow” I guess you could say.

Jaden is actually a really good example of someone who has the humility to admit when they’re wrong and apologize. Don't get me wrong he can be stubborn and not like to be called out just like I am stubborn and don't like to be called out. However, he shows me by example how to own up to mistakes and apologize for them. I look up to him a lot and he makes me want to be better at eating crow.

There were times this past week when I had to admit I was wrong and made mistakes, humble myself and effectively “eat crow.” A couple of them of them were funny and embarrassing but one was very humbling and was an experience I’ll never forget.

I burned dinner while I left the room to try on some new clothes I got for my birthday. Had to eat my crow, burnt crow at that.

Tried to parallel park twice when I was trying to go to a baby shower and failed twice and had to own up and pull out in front of cars waiting behind me. Ate crow twice that time.

The most humbling instance of eating crow was when Jaden was having a particularly stressful day. He has been so worried about applying for internships. Some of his buddies are starting to not only get interviews but also offers and he was extremely frustrated that he couldn’t secure an interview.

One kid didn’t even apply for a certain internship but during his interview for another team they pivoted and offered him an internship on a different team he didn’t even apply for, it was the internship Jaden had applied for. He came home really bummed. I think all in all Jaden has been more stressed about his internship than he has his course work lately.

So as I sat at my desk one morning after listening to his concerns I called out to the other room where he was sitting and asked “Well have you prayed about it?” He muttered back “well I think about it every day but you’re probably right I should pray about it more.”

Immediately after he said that the thought came to my mind, "Well have YOU prayed about it?” I came to the realization that I hadn’t been very specific in my prayers to ask Heavenly Father to help opportunities become available so we can make the choice on which internship would be best for our little family. It was easy for me to ask Jaden if he has been praying about it but the Spirit reminded me that I also needed to pray about it.

I took the opportunity to quickly kneel down at my desk and said a quick prayer asking for forgiveness and specifically asking for peace and guidance and that opportunities would become available to give us a choice on which internship is the best path for us. And then I felt like I needed to wait and listen instead of jumping up to get back to work. As I stayed on my knees in the quiet for a few moments two verses from the hymn “How Firm a Foundation” came to my mind. First the third verse, then the second verse:

3. Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,
Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.

2. In ev’ry condition—in sickness, in health,
In poverty’s vale or abounding in wealth,
At home or abroad, on the land or the sea—
As thy days may demand, as thy days may demand,
As thy days may demand, so thy succor shall be.

The reminder was good for me to remember that the Lord is mindful and will help us whether we’re “at home or abroad” and to “fear not” He will “give us aid.”

I texted the verses to Jaden and told him that I knew something was going to come up soon. 

 

A little while later he came back to my office and said we should say a prayer together. For the second time I knelt down at my desk and he prayed his own prayer asking for forgiveness and praying specifically that opportunities for internships would arise. He thanked Heavenly Father for all the guidance and help that got us out here and pleaded that we will continue to be guided as we make decisions that will alter the trajectory of his career and our lives. During his prayer I thought about how Amy told us before we left that she knew our future kids were watching over us from heaven and cheering us on. I thought it was a powerful thought then and was even more powerful in that moment. Because ultimately we’re doing what we’re doing for them. Yes we want to set and achieve our goals and gain experience no doubt… but ultimately the “Why” behind all of this: moving across the country, attending a renowned tech school, my job, my decision to go back to school it’s all so we can have secure jobs and provide a good life for our future kids. It’s a beautiful thought to think that they’re aware of us just like we’re aware of them.

So needless to say it was a pretty special experience I won’t soon forget. It was humbling for sure, I think we both felt like we ate crow as we realized we were trying to do it on our own without asking for help, peace and guidance from Heavenly Father. But luckily Heavenly Father is a merciful God. Just like us He wants a good life for His children. He is a loving Heavenly Father who wants to bless us so badly. And sometimes all it takes for us to receive those blessings is to humble ourselves and ask. After all it was His Son that said in Matthew 21:22 “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.”

I know that’s true. I’ve seen it time and time again in my own life and in the life experiences of friends and loved ones. If we ask in faith blessings come. Maybe they’re not what we expect or when we expect them but we’re promised that either in this life or the next they’ll come.

I’m so grateful for a God that is so involved in our lives and so willing to bless us. When we humble ourselves and stop trying to do everything on our own and admit we can’t and ask for His help He will bless us. I know it.

And He has blessed us, within the next few days Jaden has heard back from not one, not two but three places requesting to setup an interview time.

It causes me to wonder what blessings do we unknowingly delay because we don’t ask?

So go ahead and swallow your pride, eat your crow. Recognize you CAN’T do everything and be everything on your own and ask Him for help. I remember hearing these two phrases on my mission that I apparently have to continue to relearn again and again:

“Specific prayers bring specific blessings.”

“Have you prayed about it as much as you’ve talked about it?”

I know when we take the time to pray we’ll see the blessings. Maybe not always within a matter of days but they will come. Like my favorite quote of all time says: “some blessings come soon, some come late and some don’t come until heaven— but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ they come.”

Other exciting events from the week were celebrating Halloween with a spooky Sunday dinner at Taylor & Keile's, We brought a spooky veggie tray and had some delicious cheesy potato soup and bread. We all wore costumes and helped hand out candy to the neighborhood kids. Jaden and I were salt and pepper shakers. You could say that I am the salt to his pepper and he is the pepper to my salt but also he puts pepper on his pepper and I can be salty (sassy) at times. We spent the rest of the evening after dinner, playing games, laughing at Taylor's narrating skills during one of the games and chatting about internships, life and the future. 

 

 

 

 

Zach & Jenna were a hunter and a cheetah, Tanner & Amanda were Cruella and a "dalmatian," and Taylor and Keile were a scarecrow and corn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I say this all the time but we are so grateful for our friends out here that make missing out on holidays and parties with friends and family back home a little easier. 

Peaches

• Jaden's flag football game
• Took oranges to the flag football game and became the official team mom
• Made some yummy flatbread pizzas
• DIY homemade Halloween costumes
• Bought some new work outfits for a trade show I’m going to in Vegas for work in January
• Seeing cute friends and family and their babies dress up for Halloween  
• FaceTiming family on Halloween and seeing grandparents
• My latest project at work has been helping design our company logo and website which has honestly been a lot of fun
• Spooky Halloween Sunday dinner 
• Working on Bridger's mission book, compiling all of his letters and pictures he sends home  
• Sending a digital card home to one of my cute girls I nannied before and after my mission since it was her birthday. Love my November bday buddies
  
• Went and saw Taylor and Keile speak on Sunday 
• Taylor shared a story in his talk about teaching a family on his mission in Texas about the gospel. The mom has cancer and wasn’t going to make it but the entire family got baptized and she passed away a few months later. Taylor said he got to be a pallbearer at her funeral and he noticed that none of her kids were crying during the funeral, He said he asked one of the young daughters how she was doing and she said this, “It’s ok Elder Williams because you told me I’d see my mom again.”
• Keile shared an experience about teaching a lesson in Young Women’s right after she graduated from high school and was called to be an advisor in young women’s. She said she was supposed to teach for the first time and she put off preparing the lesson until the night/morning before. When she got to church she found out that the general young women’s President was visiting her ward and wanted to sit in on her lesson. She shared that it went well but after the lesson she heard these words, “that was a really cool experience but imagine how much better it would’ve been if you had prepared.” She then said that when it comes to going to the temple apply this same principle, you can have good experiences at the temple but imagine how much better they could be if you prepare for them.” 

 

 

 

 

 

Pits

• Was late to baby shower because I slept in and then couldn’t find parking
• Failed my parallel parking test in high school driver’s ed and apparently still can’t do it. Need to learn or at least learn how to use the self parking feature on my car
• Leaves are finally starting to change but it’s also rained a lot and the pouring rain makes the leaves fall from the trees really fast
• Jaden stressing over internship
• Burning the heck out of dinner. Seriously first time in our marriage I’ve burned something that bad
• Waiting in long lines at the store  Super late Utah game and then early church the next day was rough, and I had a bad hair day so I definitely went to church grumpy but was reminded what really matters and Taylor & Keile gave awesome talks about family history and temples. Then in Sunday school their bishop said this that really struck me, "We have a major problem that I need all of your help with. This ward has a lot of students that come through here and are only here temporarily and because of this sometimes they don't 'fully unpack…' they don't try to establish relationships and get to know people. And on the flip side long time ward members know that these students aren't here for very long so they don't try to establish relationships either. This needs to change. How ministering goes so goes the ward."