Putting Things Off

Mom called today and asked if I could believe it has been 6 weeks since Grandma passed away. So that means it's been six weeks since I graduated and flew home for services and six weeks since I decided that now that I'm done with school I'd start writing again. 

So here I am... Do you ever continue to put something off because you're so overwhelmed with how much you've put it off? I haven't posted a blog entry since July of last year. I got so busy with living in Chicago for Jaden's internship, being home for a couple of months when Bridger got home from his mission, then getting settled back in Pittsburgh and the swing of a new semester of school... After that it seemed like I was so overwhelmed with work and school and trying to maintain a social life and be a good wife, minister, and young women's leader something had to get booted off the plate and writing was an easy one to nix. So was working out and studying scriptures if we're being brutally honest. But the tides have changed and wind has shifted. I have newfound freetime and I'm introducing writing, working out and studying the gospel back into my life. 

An email from Mom reminded me I have Audible credits up for grabs so I downloaded a book I'd heard great things about called Atomic Habits (are book titles italicized or in quotes? I can never remember and my 7th grade English teacher Mrs. Gray would be so disappointed) to listen too while I make dinner in the evenings. It has been very eye opening so far as I've contemplated my habits and routines and looked for ways to improve them and become a better version of myself.

As I've been listening about creating small habits I've also been reflecting about this idea of putting things off. Because even though it sounds and often felt like my life was too busy to write, workout, and study anything other than school there definitely were times when I could have done those things. There were times when I could have condensed my habits into smaller time frames (ie. five minutes instead of an hour) instead of abandoning them altogether. But often it felt like the task had grown to be too large and too overwhelming it was easier to just put off. 

And then this thought crossed my mind, "Every week that goes by that you put something off is a week where you could have started something great." It's simple, obvious and yet so heart-piercingly true. 

So I'm not putting off writing anymore. I want that habit back in my life because it makes me happy and helps me focus on gratitude. I have never been a consistent journaler; in fact I think my future posterity will get tired of finding book after book of started journal entries that barely make it a couple of months into a year, or aren't even dated at all. I have plenty of journals with written quotes, doodles, and short experiences, but sometimes I would get frustrated handwriting journal entries because it took too long to get thoughts from my mind out on paper. But writing weekly letters home on my mission changed my outlook on journaling. It was so much easier and faster to type. There were times when I'd be so excited to write it almost felt like my fingers were tingling with words just waiting to spill all over a digital page and send home. Drafting letters home was precious time for me. It's where I sorted my feelings and tracked my experiences. It's where I found gratitude and Jesus. And I both want and need to have that time again.

Because there are still peaches and pits and lessons to be learned in Pittsburgh. Thinking back to last July there is SO much that happened that is worth recording. So many pictures that are worth referencing. So many memories that need to be remembered. So I'm going to take it little by little and work my way forward as well as backward. I'm not going to put writing off anymore. I'm going to make it a habit and catch up.