Live Like You Were Leaving

 

There's a classic song by Tim McGraw that played through my mind as I drove back through the maze of streets from Wednesday night youth activities at the church. It's called Live Like You Were Dying and it came to mind as I drove thinking "this is the last time I'll be at the church, pass that certain brick house with the black windowpanes on the way home, cross the intersection that's full of potholes, see the blooming trees on the corner of Murray Ave, visit the Giant Eagle grocery store. The list went on throughout the week leading up to our move. Tim's song is about a man who had a terminal illness' perspective on his last days on this earth. I thought about how things meant more when I knew that we were leaving. I tried to appreciate things I would miss and not miss about our life in Pittsburgh as we anticipated a long drive and move back home to UT. I had the thought that I should try to relish the moment more as if I was leaving the place and "live like you were leaving." Because one day all you are left with is memories and hopefully no regrets. 

And there were plenty of memories during our final week in the Burgh. We started the week with a final Sunday dinner at Tanner and Amanda's house. They had to host since the rest of us had cleared out our pantries and fridges and were pretty low on food. They did wings on their smoker and we played some games and spent some time outside with the babies. Emie was especially friendly and wanted me to hold her and take her outside which was pretty sweet. Krew was so funny, they think he is starting to cut teeth so he would start to whimper and get fussy and then Amanda would come up and say "boo!" and he would stop crying and laugh. Then she would walk away and he'd start to cry and then she'd come back and do the same thing and he'd laugh again. We got some pretty cute videos of him bouncing between emotions. 

Monday I left work a little bit early and we all met up at the Roberto Clemente bridge to try to take some "family pictures" I had been mentally preparing everyone for for months. Of course in classic Pittsburgh style the bridge was closed but luckily there are at least a hundred more and several other yellow ones so we just had to walk a couple of blocks and cross over the river on the 6th street bridge. The pictures turned out cute everyone was glad we went. We used Tanner and Amanda's camera and Taylor's brother Cayden took our pictures. We all went to Choolah for one last meal all together out and then we gave the William's hugs because they were headed for Austin the next day. 

The next two days were when the crazy packing frenzy began. I had gotten quite a bit done before everyone flew in for graduation and had a nice stack of boxes building up in my office but while I worked Jaden packed up the entire kitchen and bathroom, his closet and the rest of the hall closet and living room. I was seriously concerned not everything was going to fit until we started taping off the dimensions on the ground and packing everything inside. 

Since we were getting rid of food we decided we would just eat out every night so we went over to Sushi 2+1 one of our favorite Squirrel Hill eats and got sushi and a teriyaki bowl to share. Then we grabbed a waffle at Wafflonia for dessert and headed home to watch a show and wind down for the evening.   

Wednesday was when we finished deep cleaning and making sure everything was squared away for the new tenants in our apartment. We are so so grateful that they were willing to purchase all of our furniture because it was such a weight off our shoulders not having to move anything down our spiral staircase and Jaden and I both aren't convinced that our couch could even make it through our door without taking off the feet and we're pretty sure the screws are stripped. But thankfully that won't have to be our problem (cue the quote from Friends "PIVOTTT!!! PIVOTTT! PIVOTTT!!!!"). By the end of the night we had everything ready to go to pick up our trailer the next morning, although I still had my doubts everything would fit in our car and trailer. I left Jaden to keep packing and situating boxes and went to my last young women's activity. I thought the previous week would be my last week but we were short on leaders and rides and I needed to take back our church keys and see if I could pawn off my pantry stuff I didn't want to pack home. 

Our youth activity was a nerf/dodgeball war with a twist of capture the flag and was combined with both the young men and young women. It was a fairly good turnout and I was actually surprised at how well the activity turned out. Everyone had a lot of fun even though our team lost every time. After the activity ended I had the kids, leaders and parents stop by my car and fill up grocery bags full of groceries, cleaning supplies and random items that I was getting rid of. There was still quite a bit left but I was able to take our three Spanish branch sisters home and their mom came out and took almost all of the rest of the stuff. It was surreal taking the girls home for the last time. They were so cute and kept saying how sad they were that it was the last time they'd be in my car and they had so much fun while I was there. I have to admit as I drove away tears ran down my face. I am so grateful for my time in Young Womens and for the lessons the sweet girls taught me and the many laughs and memories we shared together. I am really going to miss them!

I got home and Jaden and I finished putting boxes in our taped off squares and fell into bed exhausted. Jaden had told me that  he wanted to go pick up our UHaul first thing in the morning but that Zach and Tanner wouldn't be able to come help move until 11:00. In my mind I knew that if we picked up the trailer at 8:00 there was no way he was going to wait for them to get there and we'd probably have everything moved in by the time they got there. And that is exactly what happened. After what felt like 100 trips up and down that spiral staircase (it actually started to hurt my knees turning like that while hauling boxes) we had the trailer and car packed. Shockingly we had room to spare. Enough room that when we resituated items Jaden would be able to see out of all windows as he drove, that was definitely not the case on our way out here. We both felt proud that somehow we were leaving with less than we had come out with. At least materially... spiritually, emotionally and intellectually we were coming back with a lot more! 

Zach and Jenna told us when they pulled up Jenna said "there's no way they're going to fit all of their stuff in that little trailer." I had thought the same thing but it's deceivingly a lot bigger than it looks and Jaden is an impressive tetris packer. I don't think I could have gotten everything to fit on my own, and certainly wouldn't have had room to spare. Since our car was hitched to the trailer and packed full Zach and Jenna picked us up for our final dinner in the Burgh. We met Tanner and Amanda at the Cheesecake Factory and laughed when the boys tried to order drinks and they were "completely out of a special ingredient needed to make lemonade" (turns out it was lemons, so pretty critical). I feel like that has happened every time we have gone out to eat lately there is at least one thing that they are out of when we go to order. After ordering cheesecake Amanda presented us with framed copies of our "family picture" which was so sweet. We said our see you laters to Tanner and Amanda and then Zach and Jenna after they dropped us back home. It was strange walking into our house for the last time. We took out the trash and got our bags ready for a 5:00 a.m. wakeup to begin our trek home. 

Morning came early and strangely enough as we were trying to be as quiet as possible on our ancient creaking stairs we saw our downstairs neighbor also leaving the house to catch a flight so we were able to say bye to her. I was like what are the odds we see her at 5:20 in the morning the day we leave?! We pulled out to start our journey home at 5:25 and only stopped for gas until we hit Omaha that night. 14 hours later we arrived at I am pleased to say a MUCH better hotel than what we stayed in on the trip out 2 years prior. We probably could have slept anywhere to be honest we were both exhausted. We grabbed dinner and I hopped in the shower and as I was getting out Jaden was watching some old war movie and there were machine guns going off and it was so loud I yelled like three times "hey what are you watching?" he never responded and sure enough when I turned the corner he was completely zonked out. So so exhausted. 

We woke up at 5:00 a.m. for the second time and our final day of driving. Jaden said he wanted to do it in two days which I was not thrilled about but figured it was probably better to just rip it off like a bandaid and get it done in two days rather than dragging it into three. We listened to two audio books and a bunch of music and I found riddles, trivia and a movie game where you start by saying an actor or actress and then go back and forth listing movies they've been in until you can't think of anymore and whoever gets stumped first loses. We honestly felt crappy from eating out so much so we skipped lunch and ended up making good time and got to Utah an hour earlier than we had originally anticipated. 

We pulled up to my family and several neighbors jumping up and down and waving welcome signs. The girls I used to nanny had drawn big pictures on the driveway and were there with big hugs. It is good to be home and welcomed and celebrated by so many. Mom had Costa Vida waiting for us. It is one of the places we've missed a lot, we're excited to be back to restaurants we know and love! Being home is surreal, I keep telling people that it doesn't really feel real yet because it just feels like we are home visiting for the summer, staying with family and living out of a suitcase. It will feel more real as time moves on and we find a place to live. 

For now I hope to apply the many lessons we learned in the hills of PA especially the most recent to live like you were leaving. I want to treasure the small moments and not take for granted where I am at because I know there will come a day when I'll look on it and be so grateful I lived it. 

So long Peaches in Pitt, we are back where we wanted to be: home.